Life in Autumn

This is my 4-month old niece Trinity. She’s the baby of our family. Unlike my other nephews and nieces who are just too hyper to be sick, we just found out a few weeks ago that Trinie has a congenital heart disease. On a good day she plays with Elmo and gnaws her little fist. Recently I noticed how she keeps on leaning her head on someone else’s shoulder, how tired she looks after a long good cry, her short, ragged breathing.

There’s something wide off the mark when a kid gets sick. You just expect their lives to be free from worries and stuff old people go through. There’s nothing more depressing than a kid being really sick, you know. I just hope she’ll get through this. I’m praying she will.

“I’m a big fan of change. But I’ve come to realize that the hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.” -Sally

Yesterday, I bought 64 VCDs of the defunct tv series Felicity seasons 1, 2 and 3. I was ecstatic to relive my favorite college, coming of age drama.

Nung college pa ko, my friends and I would go to George’s house to watch Felicity on Thursdays. We’d swoon over Scott Speedman a.k.a Ben Covington. There was something about Felicity that really drew us in. Naalala ko tuloy ang magic ng college life, ang mga boylets, the blithe, carefree, careless life (*sniff* *sniff*).

Lost na yun. Sa Felicity ko na lang mababalikan.

Surprisingly, there was no feeling of remorse. I just sat there wondering if there was anything I’d actually miss or regret or kick myself for and I just can’t think of anything, really.

The air between us, impregnated with pride and madness is too suffocating for words.

I’m finally cutting the string and giving it a rest.

Miles away before I sleep.. and miles away before I sleep.

*for an ex-friend