Life in Autumn

Nahihilo ako sa opisina ngayon. Ang daming nangyayari sa bansa natin. Paulit-ulit na lang ang kasaysayan kaya kakanta na lang muna ‘ko.

The Circle Game

Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you’re older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

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Feeling so dejected right now. Like my foot is edging the parameters of sanity. I have nowhere else to go but to the fore but I can’t see the road ahead. It’s all a blur of impressionist bull. Much like the state of our nation.

Let me just categorically say that getting a shot at a visa with a Filipino citizenship is just fucking hell.

E and I were at the German embassy yesterday for our scheduled interview. The stiff procedures were unnerving really. There I was answering questions from a fellow Filipino who was grousing me, asking how much I earn and where I work. I know the old lady was just trying to look for a clue, a twinkle in my eye perhaps that says I’ll just end up becoming one of those TNTs.

I wonder how our embassies abroad treat foreigners who want to visit our country. With a red carpet laid perhaps? Champagne and caviar on the side?

Ang hirap talagang maging Pinoy.

I feel so geek chic reading this book by Douglas Coupland.

Here’s a preview. The character talking here is Susan who’s decided to leave good ol’ Microsoft for a start-up company called Oop!

“I wanted to go to a place where loyalty wasn’t an issue. Ha! I wanted not to have a life because life back East sucked big time. So I made the choice to come here–we all made the choice to come here. Nobody was holding a carbine up to our temples. So us crabbing about or zero-life factors isn’t up for debate, really. Yet do you remember, Dan–do you remember ever having a life? Ever? What is a life? I think I once had one–or at least dreamed of having one—and now with going to Oop!, I kind of feel like I have a hope of life again.“

Awww..

I was going thru the files in my pc last night (a usual tactic to delay my writing projects) and I saw these poems I wrote back in college. Most of them well, what can I say, uhm autobiographical. Some were from the glut of my imagination. I decided to post two of them here and risk damnation.

Tied-up young

sometimes, I just wanna slow it down a bit and feel the vacuity
of things, the small, irreparable things free mortals take for granted.
i miss that when I have all the rubbish I need for the day.
i miss screwing around coz I’ve got no money and the baby needs milk
while his dad needs some cooing and pampering like an old self-indulgent kid.

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